yay for closure. this might be overdue, but i finally feel like i got the closure i needed from an ex-boyfriend, recently. he got engaged and now i know it’s completely over, and i’ve come to terms with it and i’m fine. i’m actually happier, to be honest. (not to put him down or anything.) i don’t have that lingering stupid hope anymore that maybe, just maybe, he’ll come back. it really is a relief in a way. i was shocked when i found out the news though since they’ve only been dating a little over 2 months but if it’s right, it’s right.

i haven’t posted anything in a long time and people are probably wondering if i’m still alive. haha, yes i am. i’m just working and doing the normal things. work consumes my life. oh, i got a new cell phone, that was really exciting! but the manual came in russian and i don’t speak it, so that’s a little frustrating. lol. but i found it in english online. i went to arizona for my thanksgiving holiday and had a blast with my family! i love spending time with family, i don’t realize how much i miss them till i’m there with them, and how i want to stay even longer. none of my immediate family lives in utah around me so that’s been kinda hard. it’s ok, it just means i get to get out of utah when i visit family, right? 🙂

so i’ve realized this blog has more or less become a personal journal for me, but PUBLIC. HAHA! It’s probably not to my advantage to have a site as a journal like this but it’s an outlet, what can i say? I don’t live with anyone so it’s almost like my need to vent can be used through this, if that makes sense at all. and then i can post other cool things i like on here too. and it’s just fun to have people read my stuff and think that people care to spend time to read it. (i really think that’s the real reason i have this blog.) it’s to see if people care about me. i mean, i know my family cares. that’s a given. i dunno, it’s my own twisted thinking, that’s all. okay enough rambling. this post was supposed to be about how great the closure was for me, so i’ll end on that subject. it’s liberating to know finally for sure that i will never get back together with that ex-boyfriend, and i’m okay with it! it’s almost like when i break up, i’m still hoping, or wondering if we’ll get back together. it’s like i can’t fully let that person go. but i’ve come to find out that i absolutely hate letting people go out of my life. so maybe that’s a reason why. i care about people so much that it’s soo hard on me when i have to let them go. even just a friend, ya know? well tonight i shall get to bed early so i can test the theory of waking up earlier in the mornings if you go to bed early at night. 🙂 this IS early for me (10:15 pm). goodnight, hopefully…

*update: This particular ex-boyfriend got divorced from his first wife. Karma can hurt, amIright? He’s been remarried and has a child with special needs.

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